One of my favorite songs in Salt and Pepa’s “None of Your Business.” There is a line at the end that says, “Who are you to judge? There’s only one true judge and that’s God. So chill, and let my Father do His Job.” I just love that song, takes me back to my high school days. Not only that, but I try and remind myself of that line. We live in a world that is so full of judgement. We don’t like when things are different than us and we judge it. I have seen it everywhere, especially on social media. Now, as I stated in my Coffee Talk Tuesday video, it is important that we educate people. There are things that are offensive to a religion, culture, or person and we need to be aware of them and if someone is being offensive to another, someone should let them know and hopefully it will change their behavior. It’s not always going to work, but then at least you did your part. That being said, it is in my opinion that we are just as tactful and communicate in a manner that also isn’t offensive. Is there really a reason that we need to be just as mean, hurtful, or crude just to make a point? When we are trying to educate someone we want them to hear us. We want the offender to understand and comprehend why this is important. When people are feeling attacked, they go straight into defense mode and won’t hear what you are saying, which means you are wasting energy. It is like talking to a brick wall and the chances of you getting through are slim to none.
Please don’t think that I am condoning anyone acting racist, or sexist, or anything like that. What I am saying is we need to look inside of ourselves and if we are fighting for a cause HOW are we doing it? We are so sick of people judging us for our thoughts and behaviors, yet we are all so quick to judge others when they are different from us. This is a heavy topic, and some might say that it doesn’t relate to each other, but it truly does. We judge what we fear and/or don’t understand. We get set in our individual mindsets and beliefs that we are right and everyone else is wrong. Even when people are acting offensive around us. So often we become just as mean and nasty to them as we are saying they have been to us, but what difference are we really making in the world when we are like that? There is a difference in making a statement and being ignorant or rude. I know for me, I would much rather educate a person on why something hurts me, than try and hurt them back. It leaves much more of a lasting impression. Being in customer service for as long as I have, this is something I know. If you use soft skills and truly try and understand where they are coming from, chances are they will do the same for you. Empathy, compassion, and communication are huge when leaving a lasting impression and I encourage you to give it a try the next time you feel judgement.
The next point I am eager to make is look at the behaviors you are doing that could be considered offensive. You see, this is where it needs to start. Right here, with us. We are so quick to call out people that offend or hurt us, yet are we being considerate of what might offend or hurt others? Truly ask yourself this question. If you do something that can be considered offensive, distasteful or mean but think it’s funny so you do it anyway, how is this any different than the behaviors you are against? We get so angry at the people judging others for the color of their skin or their sexual preferences if they are hurtful to us or our friends, yet are we being sensitive to others when we are making jokes about something we don’t find offensive? I see this happening all the time, all over the place. This is that part of the world we can control. This is self-awareness! This is the part where we can elevate ourselves and become better at. Take a minute to do some self-reflection, look in the mirror, or at that post before we publish it for the world to see and ask yourself: “Is this something that could be offensive? And how would it affect me if I was on the other side of it?”
Maybe you are like me, and very few things offend me. I know that I need to be careful and know my audience because my mouth has a tendency to get me into trouble if I’m not. I have had to learn to be more careful with how I say things and how I come across to others. This didn’t happen overnight, and I still find myself putting my foot in my mouth at times, but I am doing my best to be cautious when I speak. I don’t go around intentionally trying to offend people or make them feel judged, but I also don’t want to build a brand of ignorance. My brand is very important to me which means I need to be educated if I mess up and then do what it takes to fix my behaviors. That is what being a leader is all about. It is something that I am very passionate about. Leaders are good at self-reflection, communication, and have self-awareness. Leaders do things that set them apart from the rest. It comes from understanding ourselves first. Be a leader, change the way the world works!
Are you ready to stop the judgement and the hate? Let’s allow people to be who they are and embrace those who are different. We are all trying to figure out how to make it through this life. Can we please be more mindful and help each other out rather than tear each other down? I will leave you with this thought: The more we know, the better choices we can make. The kinder and more loving we are, the more of an impact we create.
Oh, and if you forget go listen to a little more Salt N’ Pepa!